creating the life you want, transitioning from one way of life to another

Transitioning from one way of life to another?

Are you transitioning from one way of life to another?  Say working to retirement, or a having a job to becoming an entrepreneur?

I am!  Two years ago I quit my corporate job to begin an exciting journey of creating the life I wanted.  I wanted to be an entrepreneur, and writer.  I wanted to be free to travel and live with freedom to be me.  Unfortunately, family circumstances (parents health) became my first priority and delayed my plans.  Thank goodness I did quit my job, though.  My priorities shifted quickly as I became their caregiver.  I lost both of them within a year and a half.

Now I am beginning this exciting journey again.  I have to admit, though, I am a bit scared…  I am excited, nervous, and know that it is now time to “walk my talk”.  It seemed that I was overthinking without taking any action!

It doesn’t matter what you are transitioning from, the process is the same…

Is your head swimming with ideas?  Mine was – to the point where I was spinning in circles without the ability to narrow anything down.  I obviously needed a process!!!  There was something about beginning by figuring the process that calmed  me down.

The goal was to take a good hard look at what I wanted first of all.   Here are a few of the steps I took to get started.

a thread weaves through your life

  1. The first thing you have to do is listen to the voice in your head.  The voice in your head that likes to put you down.  Have you listened to that voice in your head?  It is NASTY! Until I took the time to really listen, I had no idea how many negative things were in my head – put there by me!  How do you do silence it? You acknowledge it and then choose a different thought.  It has to become a new habit until you don’t listen to that voice anymore.
  2. Acknowledge the freedom that you have.  Freedom to choose!  It is amazing!  I used to try and live up to my parents’ expectations (not that they expected me to do that), or my boss, or my co-workers, or my friends.  I DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE UP TO ANYONE’S EXPECTATIONS, EXCEPT MY OWN!  YAY!  What a feeling.  Really, think about your life at the moment, free of anyone else’s expectations.  (You might have to practise this one – I did!)  It is like being in a boat and losing the shore.  It is scary at first, but then it becomes an adventure!
  3. Be real about who you really are.  Take off your mask you show the world.  Take a good, hard look.  One of judgment?  HELL NO.  One of wanting to understand who you really are.  A look of understanding, empathy, anticipation and love.
  4. List all the activities you loved to do since very young.  I always loved to paint, move my furniture around, help people solve problems (by listening usually), figuring people out, creating solutions and words, words, words!  When you take a look, you will most likely see a thread that weaved throughout your life in the jobs you chose, your hobbies, and the subjects you were drawn to.
  5. Begin to think about how you can increase those activities in your life, or should I say the feeling of those activities in your daily life.  I joined a community centre that provided me opportunities for art classes, dance exercise classes (because I really don’t like exercise but love dance), and opportunities to connect with people.  It has been so much fun!
  6. At the end of every day think of 3 things that gave you joy that day.

The Thread

When you take a look at your life so far, without the lenses of anyone but you, you will see the thread.  It was always there.  You might have been looking at it from the judgment of others, or should I say perceived judgement of others.  You may not give the things you love to do any value.  I sure didn’t.  It seemed that I surrounded myself with people who also denied the value of those things I loved to do.  For me it was my creative side.  I did not believe it had any value, and yet it give me the most pleasure!

You are a work in progress…  You choose the life you want.  Really.  No matter what the circumstances, you always have your attitude. Yes, it can be difficult to be positive in the face of loss, poverty, etc.  I know, I was a single mom with three children living at the poverty level.  I could never have gone from struggling every single day to an abundant life and early retirement!

Remember, be YOU through whatever transition you are going through.  Bring joy into your life!

Deborah

The photograph of the sea is called “Starfish”, by Jakob Owen.  If you would like to see more of his work, please go to:  https://unsplash.com/search/ocean?photo=n5wwck8ES4w

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