clear all the bs, the raw you, the authentic you, a new life

When you clear out all the BS in your life, what are you left with?

I have spent a lifetime thinking “when I find another job”, “when I have a great boss”, “when I make more money”, “when I have more time”, and on and on.

When you clear out all the BS in your life…

Well, when I finally did clear out everything in my life that didn’t work, I expected to be exceptionally happy!  Right?  Wrong…

As the BS fell from my life, it became clearer and clearer to me…  There is still me.  Me, with my own BS.

What a shock!!!!!

I had been working on creating the most authentic version of me for the past six months or so and was finally living the life I had always dreamed of (minus a few vacations).   I started my business, started my blog, began exercising, joined a group to meet friends, began taking classes, made sure I meditated every day and pretty well did what I wanted when I wanted.  Sounds perfect, right?

To my shock, as I stripped down the layers, piece by piece, I had this nagging feeling of unhappiness.  It didn’t make sense to me.  How can I not feel happy – I am creating everything I want!  I then discovered the real me!

Don’t get me wrong – nothing was as bad as when all that other BS was in my life, but what really surprised me was the fact that those problems were not the cause of how I was feeling inside – I was.  Or my perception of all those things were.

This set me on an exploration trip down memory lane.  When did this all begin?  Why?  How can I change how I feel?

I remember being very young and in my room reading – alot!  My father was mentally abusive.  My mother submissive, and all she wanted was to keep the peace in the house so we were told to be quiet for the first hour he was home and keep him happy.  Keep him happy?  Hell, I don’t think he would even know what that would take!  How were we, as children, supposed to figure that out?

Because there were no words to describe what he wanted from his kids, I had to learn how to figure it out in other ways.  This was the beginning of me watching others to know how to behave.  The gift of it was that I learned to read people very well without them having to tell me anything.

Could this be why I have always been curious about personality tests, how the brain preferred to think (HBDI), vision boards, and any other tool to figure someone out without them telling me anything?  Did this experience really make me responsible for making everyone else happy?  You bet it did!

We have all evolved from our circumstances, our losses, our love, our family and our experiences.  In a way it was exciting to peel back the onion (me) to find the real me and maybe for the first time really understand who I was.  I guess it should be no surprise that after the dust cleared from my life I was left with me – the raw me.

This is leading me on a journey of self-discovery and healing that I would like to share on my blog.  I believe everyone has a story that they may not understand.  Once understood, your energy and experience in life will change.  I am already seeing those changes…

When you clear out all the BS in your life, what are you left with? Imagine it all gone.  Do you see you?  Please share!

Stay tuned…


Here is a reminder I like to cozy up with every day to keep me on track…  

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