grieving Moms, missing Mom, loss of child, Mother's Day

5 things you can do for grieving Moms and those missing their Mom on Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day is not the happiest day for everyone.

Not for those who lost their mother.

Not for those who lost a child.

It is a good day, however, to acknowledge their loss, and talk about it.  It is also a good day to recognize that they may need a little extra love.

I lost my Mom in 2017.   She was 85.  It was the saddest day and biggest loss of my life.  Her mother lived to be 101 so I thought we still had lots of time…  Mom was diagnosed with cancer in December and passed away in April.  My Mom was one of those mothers who baked cookies for everyone in the neighbourhood, right up until she became ill.  Mom loved to make people laugh, loved to dance, and loved her family more than anything in the world.  Although I am grateful to have my children and grandchildren, Mother’s Day will never be quite the same.

Dealing with loss is different for everyone

My Mom’s favorite cat, Bandit, passed away the year before she did.  She loved that cat!  She missed him so much, and loss was not something my Mom liked to talk about.  For some reason she was really embarrassed anytime she cried or showed emotion.  (I obviously didn’t take after her!)  We all knew that for my Mom there really wasn’t anything as devastating as losing a pet.  We knew the loss was so much more than she was showing us.

I wanted to show her that I understood, and comfort her.  At the time I knew she would need something to cuddle with as she slept, so the idea of a memorial blanket was born.  I was already printing words and images on blankets for my company, Say it With Words, so I decided to print a photo of Bandit along with the Rainbow Bridge poem for her.

Mom never read the poem – she knew it would be sad (lol), but she slept with that throw blanket every night.  She also took it to the hospice and the nurses knew that it had to be with her every day.  The thing was, she could cuddle the blanket.  The photo made it all about Bandit.  The softness felt like a super hug; a super hug from him.

Mom showed me how important it was to acknowledge the loss in a way that suited her.  She wouldn’t talk about her loss, so I had to find another way to tell her that I understood, and comfort her.

My Mom inspired me to include memorial blankets in my ETSY shop and the idea has definitely caught on.  People have created blankets for Moms who have lost their child, for friends and family that have lost loved ones, and even blankets to inspire someone to fight a devastating illness.  Each one has a different story, but the intent is always the same – to acknowledge their grief, and to create something they can hold on to…

Everyone its different in their grief, but at the same time, I think acknowledging their grief is important too.  The challenge is to acknowledge their grief in a way that suits them.

missing mom, mother's day, loss of a child, grieving

Here are 5 things you can do to show them they are in your thoughts this Mother’s Day:

  1. Send a handwritten card or letter.  This isn’t as common anymore, which makes it even more special.  It is a very thoughtful gesture.  You could share your favorite memory.  Simple, and yet powerful!   The card includes the words “Thinking of you on this Mother’s Day and an angel wing heart on the front and back.  Here is the file that can be printed easily on card stock.  Please note:  It is meant to be trimmed, leaving a small white border and folded in half (as pictured).
  2. Call them up. 
    plant tulips in memory, in memory of Mom, in memory of child

    Planting tulips or tree in memory of your loved one

    • Tell them you are calling because you know this could be a sad day for them.
    • Make it safe for them to open up their heart and talk.
    • Ask them if they want to talk about it.  Some people hold their grief in and assume no one wants to hear how they are feeling.  If they don’t want to talk about it, at least they know that you thought their feelings were important.
    • Ask them what their favorite memory is of their Mom or their child, or pregnancy.
    • Tell them you love them.  
  3. Send them flowers with a note that lets them know you are thinking of them on this special day.
  4. Plant a tree, or tulips that will come up next spring, in memory of their loved one.
  5. Create a personalized gift of remembrance.  To read more about our personalized throw blankets.

The important thing is to show that you are thinking of them on this special day. In whatever way suits you and your friend or family member.  I know your words will be appreciated.

Please share your ideas!  I am sure others would like to hear them too!

Deborah

(So grateful for the time I had with my Mom.)

Many of my customers give these blankets to those who have lost loved ones.  Something for them to cuddle up with when feeling sad.

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